Battling the Post-Honeymoon Blues

They say that honeymoons represent the very essence of what couples counsellor, Dr. Harriet Lerner, calls the ‘velcro’ stage of relationships – the one in which you can’t keep your eyes and hands off each other, let alone imagine that the passion you feel could one day fade. The end of a honeymoon can also lead to ‘the blues’ as couples get back to real life, work, and (if they have them), kids. The good news is that passion can last long after your honeymoon is over, provided you and your partner embrace specific behaviors and choices.  Ensure the flame of passion continues to burn brightly by following a few useful tips.

The Bedroom as a Place of Discovery

You may not be in the middle of an island or in a five-star hotel, but the bedroom can still be a place of wonder and discovery – especially if communication flows as freely as desire does. A 2019 study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that couples who engage in ‘dyadic fantasizing’ (fantasizing about each other) enjoyed an enhanced partner and relationship appeal. Some of the most popular fantasies include role playing, sensory deprivation (for instance, using a blindfold), and fancy dress. Whether your partner or spouse loves dressing up in sexy outfits or lingerie or they have always dreamed of surprising you dressed as their favorite superhero or fictional character, having an open mind and enjoying the fun side of fantasy can help keep things spicy over the course of your relationship.

Dressing Up for Date Night

study involving 10,000 mothers who were married or living with their partner when their baby was nine months old, showed that couples that went on regular (in this case monthly) dates were more likely to stay together than couples that hardly made time for dates. The researchers postulated that the idea behind dates (an unspoken assertion that one’s relationship is important) helps to make partners feel loved and special. Getting dressed up in one’s finest clothing, wearing a beautiful fragrance, and booking a candlelit dinner in a romantic setting can indeed lend relationships a romantic flair.

Planning a Smaller Trip

Travel is indeed an adventure that bonds, builds memories, and makes for beautiful photographable moments that couples can cherish in many years to come. The best thing about it is that even a small weekend trip or day trip can provide all these benefits. In current times, road trips are soaring in popularity owing to the freedom, comfort, and independence they provide. Short getaways to nearby green or blue areas are much more affordable than air travel – a fact that will enable you and your spouse to embark on frequent adventures so that it seems like your honeymoon has never actually ended.

The good news for couples who have the post-honeymoon blues is that keeping the spark they experienced during their honeymoon is definitely achievable. Couples should strive to keep communication lines flowing regarding everything from their fantasies to their hopes and dreams. They should also strive to take part in the rituals that reveal their interest in keeping love alive – including date nights and small trips that can retain the sense of renewal and discovery encountered during a honeymoon.

Categories Advice