Why Your Proposal Isn’t All About the Cost of the Engagement Ring

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Proposing is nerve-wracking enough without the enduring panic about how much you should spend on the ring. And yet, so many people focus on what they are spending rather than how they are proposing and what that means.

While you should think about engagement ring costs as part of your planning, it should never take over the whole event. Let’s not forget that the whole reason you are proposing is that you are deeply in love and want to celebrate that!

So, if you are starting to panic about how much to spend (or not!), here are a few things you should remember first.

The 3 Month Rule Has Flown

There is a common thought that you should save 3 months of your salary to buy an engagement ring. But you know what? This was a marketing ploy in the 1930s when money was tight and wages were smaller. It’s now 90 years later and the “rules” have changed. In 2019, it would be madness to spend a quarter of your yearly income on a ring when there are clearly more important things you need to spend on.

Instead of thinking about the percentage of salary, think instead about what you can actually afford. Getting into debt in order to propose is a ridiculous idea – how are you going to pay for the wedding if you are still paying for the ring? For all that being realistic might not shine with romanticism, a little practicality goes a long way. And this extends to going for a different cut, choosing a different stone and avoiding brands.

However much you can save, and however much you decide to spend, the most important thing is that your girlfriend loves you and you love her. You aren’t looking for the most expensive ring in the store, you are looking for something that will remind you both of your love and fill you with happiness. And if that ring is the cheapest one, so be it.

You Could Use the Money For Other Things

In 2019 there are no hard and fast rules about getting married or getting engaged. For all that Instagram and Pinterest are all about the diamond ring, there are some women who would prefer something else. If you are going to spend a small fortune, is a ring really what you want?

There’s no reason that a ring is the only way to celebrate your love. You could spend the money on an amazing honeymoon or put the money aside for lots of date nights in the future. You could be more practical and put the money towards buying your first home together. The point is that there is more than one way to show your love for each other and if she isn’t that bothered about a ring, why should you stress yourself out saving for the perfect one?

Love Doesn’t Recognise Money

Money does matter in every relationship. You need to be able to spend it wisely, save it regularly and invest smartly and talking about money at every stage of your relationship is an important factor. However, it’s also vital to remember that your love isn’t just about money, there is so much more to your relationship.

When you think about the best dates you’ve ever had, they probably weren’t the ones you spent the most on. The things that connect us are the long conversations that last well into the night and the feeling that you couldn’t possibly be with anyone else. Even the romantic gestures you make don’t have to be expensive, in fact, the sweetest romantic gestures are often the unexpected little things like cleaning the house or making breakfast in bed.

Love doesn’t really recognise money. This is why it doesn’t really matter how much you spend on your engagement ring. If you plan a romantic and heartfelt proposal, the location, the timing and the scene you set are far more important than the size of the rock you present. Showing her how you feel and taking the time to think about the perfect proposal will have a far greater effect.

The ring is only one element of a proposal and if you get hung up on the money you are spending, you will be getting off to a bad start. Talking about your priorities is essential both before and after you get engaged so if you are worried about the amount she might expect you to spend, you must talk about it first. There’s no rule that says you can’t choose a ring together and no rule that says you have to have a ring at all.

This is your proposal, don’t let the cost get in the way!


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