Everyone proposes slightly differently, and while there may not be any wrong way to propose, there are definitely things that you should and shouldn’t do if you want to make sure that your proposal goes off without any major issues. The last thing that you want is for there to be any arguments, disappointments, or worse still, and rejections on this special day, so here are some of the things that you should and shouldn’t do to make your proposal absolutely perfect.
Do Get On The Same Page
This should be incredibly obvious, but before you start making any sort of arrangement, you need to make sure that your partner feels the same way that you do, and that they actually see marriage in their near future. While outright asking them if they want to get married isn’t the best idea, you do need to have a conversation about your future and make sure that marriage is what they want. Bring up a friend or celebrity that has just gotten engaged, or mention the wedding dress of someone you know to bring up the idea of marriage.
Don’t Let Them Know
You want to make sure that marriage is for both of you, but you definitely don’t want to give the game away. Your discussions of the future should be casual and subtle, or your partner might guess what you’re up to, which is going to ruin the surprise. You should also be sure to hide anything to do with your wedding plans, but also make sure not to look like you’re hiding anything. It’ll take a lot of effort, but, trust me, it will be worth it.
Do Speak To Their Parents
Asking for your partner’s parent’s permission might seem a little old-fashioned, but, depending on the family and circumstances, it could be an incredibly important thing to do. This is especially important if your partner has ever even hinted that they would want you to talk to their parents first. You don’t necessarily have to ask for literal permission, but letting them in on what you’re planning is polite and could end up helping you out in the long run.
Don’t Tell The Whole Family
Humans are incredibly flawed creatures, and, unfortunately, one of our biggest flaws is that we’re often really bad at keeping secrets. You can probably trust your partner’s parents with the secret, but you probably don’t want to go telling all of their friends, their siblings, and their neighbors too. With this many people in the know, the secret is sure to get out. If you still want your partner’s loved ones at the proposal, organize a party or BBQ as a cover story to get everyone over.
Do Find The Perfect Ring
One of the most important parts of any proposal is the ring, so be sure to do a lot of research on jewels and engagement rings, or Joyas y Anillos de Compromiso, as the Spanish say, before choosing one. You need to know the style of ring that your partner likes, the stone that they would like, and, most importantly, their style. Having your future mother-in-law in the know is useful here, as they can gather this information for you, to make it less obvious what is being asked. Don’t forget that you will also need the cash to buy the ring, so you better start saving, if you haven’t already.
Don’t Put It In Food
Every single romantic comedy and TV show has the characters proposing by putting the ring into a glass of champagne or a cake because this is only ever going to end in disaster. It’s also best to mention that tying it to a dove or letting a small child look after it is not a good idea. Keep the ring in the box that it came in or buy a fancier one and try not to lose it. Getting insurance for the ring is a sensible idea, but it isn’t necessary.
Make It Meaningful
Lots of people try to make some huge gesture or statement when they propose, and while this is great for some people, it’s often completely unnecessary. It’s much more important to make your proposal meaningful than massive. Think back over your relationship and consider important locations that could be used, such as the restaurant that you had your first date. Would your partner want all of their family there or just the two of you? Do you have an important song that can be played when you get down on one knee? Trust me; the little things matter much more than the big.
Don’t Copy Ideas
Arranging a proposal is no simple task, so it makes sense that you might look online for ideas and inspiration (that’s why you’re here, right?). Just be sure that, when you do this, you do only use what you find as inspiration, rather than just outright copying it. If your fiance-to-be thinks that marriage might be on the horizon, then they’ve probably gushed over videos and pictures of proposals too and will notice if you’ve done exactly the same thing as that video that went viral on Facebook a few weeks ago.
Do Get Down On One Knee
Weddings are all about symbolism and tradition, and one of the most important of these traditions is getting down on one knee. In fact, I would go as far to say that a proposal doesn’t truly feel like a proposal unless someone is getting down on one knee. It just radiates sincerity, charm, and chivalry, and isn’t that what marriage is all about? There is nothing casual about committing yourself to someone for the rest of your life, so don’t make the proposal feel casual.
Proposals require a lot of thought and planning, so much, in fact, that it can feel almost impossible to get it done perfectly. However, if you follow the advice about, and speak with your heart, then I’m sure that you’ll get the “yes” that you are hoping for.